Today marks the end of my 12 week maternity leave. While I was ridiculously fortunate to have all of that time off (and even more ridiculously fortunate for a husband who was willing to support my decision to stay home for some of that time unpaid), I am still dreading going back. I've always been a part of the "work to live" not "live to work" mindset so now more than ever, I know it's something I just have to do.
I think the hardest part of going back is giving up the sole caregiver responsibilities for Emma. Even when she was waking up 2 times a night, I didn't mind because I knew there would be shared naps on the couch that afternoon. I loved planning little outings for us during the day and some days, just doing nothing together. It's going to be hard to adjust from going to spending all day with her to just a few hours a day.
On the bright side, we are lucky to have Grandma doing the nanny thing for us 2 days a week so that we only need to send Emma to daycare 3 days a week. I know Emma is going to love the special time they will have together and I'm also OK knowing that she will get to meet a new friend or two at daycare. Also on the bright side, I'm going to be working from home 1 day a week so that will make the daycare drop off/pick up dance a little less rushed and I'll also be able to sneak in a little love session with the little lady during lunch. I am already soooo looking forward to that :)
I can't forget to mention that I had a lovely send-off to the maternity leave. We spent last Thursday with my mom and sister doing some shopping and then Friday Larry took the day off of work so we were able to spend some time together as a family, including taking Emma to her first trip to Pepe's Pizza. As usual, she slept through the big event (adding yet another picture to our collection of "Pictures I took of Emma while she was sleeping while we attempted to do something fun together".
So think of me today as I rejoin the real world. I've dusted off my laptop, begrudgingly switched out the yoga pants for jeans and have my framed picture of Emma all ready for my desk... today I become a working mom.